


kirby support gang

by pokiipo



Category: Hoshi no Kaabii | Kirby: Right Back at Ya!, Kirby - All Media Types
Genre: Multi, Original Character(s), Self-Indulgent, Swearing, This Is STUPID, chatfic, except Susie, kirby says fuck!??!?!?!??!?, theyre all gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-24
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-03-14 14:21:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 4,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18949921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pokiipo/pseuds/pokiipo
Summary: kirby gang ft like 2 ocsthis was actually color coded so i just wasted all my time on it





	1. Chapter 1

[Ricky added Kirby, Meta, Asari, Dedede, Tiff, Tuff, Escargoon, Daroach, Marx, and Magolor]

Ricky: hello everybody!!!!!!

Marx: what the fuck is this

Tiff: language 

Ricky: this is a chat so we all have easy access for communicating!!

Dedede: why did you add marx isin’t he on crack

Marx: are we gonna have a problem dedede

Dedede: my hand slipped im sorry

Tuff: uh ricky… are you sure kirby knows how to type?

Ricky: i’ve actually been teaching him how to read and write!!! but it appears he prefers talking in emoticons (or just poyo)?

Asari: dad energy

Kirby: ヾ(＾∇＾)

Tiff: there he is. theres babie

Marx: oh?? its kirby? 

Kirby: ＼(°o°；）

Magolor: marx please dont bully the poor boy

Marx: hm 

Escargoon: marx said fuck kirby lives

Dedede: literally 

Meta: i mean he did

Ricky: hello meta!!!

Asari: just say husband

Ricky: i 

Ricky: asari i know your secrets

Asari: fair

Tuff: soliditary 

Tuff: wait pause is tiff the only girl here? ? 

Ricky: yes, but i can add susie if she’d like!!!

Tuff: anna oo

Tiff: please

[Ricky added Susie]

Kirby: (。･∀･)ﾉ poyo !!!

Susie: what’s this

Ricky: a chat so we can all keep easy contact!

Ricky: oh yes i forgot to mention you can all text each other individually if you’d like!!!

Dedede: @Escargoon send nudes

Escargoon: THERE

Escargoon: ARE KIDS HERE

Escargoon: SIRE

Susie: jesus hotline on speed dial

Ricky: you can just exit the chat and click the + button!! you can choose someone to make a contact or make your own chat!!

Daroach: villain chat

Dedede: villain chat

Magolor: villain chat

Escargoon: villain chat

Marx: villain chat

Meta: i am a not a villain do not associate me

Tiff: meta said fuck villain lives

Kirby:（◎0◎）

Ricky: tiff!!!

Tiff: wait i didn’t mean to say that

Tiff: RICKY HOW DO I DELETE MESSAGES THESE ARE VERY INCRIMINATING RECEIPTS 

Tuff: oh my god

Tiff: please 

Asari: LET TIFF SAY FUCK!!!

Kirby: fuck! (｀▽´)

Ricky:

Meta:

Escargoon:

Dedede:

Magolor:

Asari:

Marx:

Susie:

Daroach:

Tiff:

Tuff:

Ricky: kirby

Ricky: kirby please never say that again.

Asari: im so sorry oh my god 

Asari: IHIJAID9898 j 8J

Meta: sorry my sword slipped

Daroach: META

Daroach: META FUCKING KILLED ASARI

Kirby: fucking! (｀▽´)

Ricky:

Meta:

Escargoon:

Dedede:

Magolor:

Marx:

Susie:

Daroach:

Tiff:

Tuff:

Daroach: pleas

Daroach: HDYD7879 DJI KL;P Ho8

Dedede: ASARI AND DAROACH ARE DEAD

Ricky: F

Meta: F

Escargoon: F

Magolor: F

Marx: F

Susie: F

Tiff: F

Tuff: F

Ricky: OTHERWISE, do any of you have any name suggestions…?

Magolor: poo poo land

Ricky: i do not want kirby running around town yelling poo poo i know he can pronounce that

Marx: anti kirby 

Ricky: no. 

Susie: kirby support gang

Ricky: vaild! marx take notes you goblin. 

Marx: im sorry sir 

[Ricky changed group name to ‘kirby support gang’]

Asari: i just wwoke up what the hell happened to daroach

Meta: same thing that happened to you

Asari: touche.  
Dedede: hey yall know that dude im always calling for funky monsters right

Escargoon: yeah that customer service dude

Dedede: add him. 

Tuff: OH GID OH GOD

Tiff: im bullying him periodt. 

Susie: are you sure… that man is always schemin … 

Dedede: PLEASE RICKY WE WANT TO BULLY HIM

Ricky: @meta please do not go and kill customer service we do not want to have a bad situation!!!

Meta: hm 

Ricky: please. 

Meta: fine

[Ricky added CS]

CS: What is this?

Dedede: a suh dude.

CS: Dedede, you know you are fully capable of contacting me with the NME caller, right. 

Dedede: what would i gain from that

Tiff: whats up bitch

Tiff: punk 

Tiff: stupid little punk man.

CS: Who is this sassy child?

Asari: she wanted to bully you 

CS: I can tell. 

CS: I don’t really know some of you.

Asari: ill introduce

Asari: you know kirby meta dedede and escargoon so we have no need for that

Asari: daroach one of the dumbest baddest gang leaders out here hes a mouse 

Asari: theres magolor and marx, theyre some funky lil guys, marx is kinda on crack don’t piss him off. 

Asari: tiff and tuff, babies! they don’t like bad guys much. 

Asari: my girl, susie, independent queen who said fuck bitches

Asari: ricky the MAN, creator of this masterpeice and kirbys dad!

CS: Those are horrible introductions. 

Asari: sembra il tuo problema.

Escargoon: asari, daroach, i hope you two know i understand italian. 

Asari: ANNA OO. 

Daroach: youre a snitch?? 

Escargoon: no, but do not get out of hand you little goblins

Daroach: fine. 

Dedede: uh man, whats your name again?

CS: Confidential. You’ll learn that when you pay NME back with you and your debt. 

Dedede: WOW OKAY

Magolor: lets just stick with CS. 

Tuff: CS said fuck dedede lives

Tuff: you know what NME corporation just said all of our lives. 

Meta: dedede why do you still buy their stuff kirby always defeats them. Meta: NME is full of clownery. 

CS: Delete this immediately or my lawyer will be in contact

Meta: lets do it baby i know the law. 

Tuff: revenge of meta knight 2: meta knight goes to court 

Daroach: ill be the defense

Tuff: revenge of meta knight 3: meta knight goes to jail

Daroach: you are like. 4 do not try it

Tuff: im 11 so shut the fuck up

Ricky: tuff. 

Ricky: now i have receipts on both you and your sister

Dedede: ricky kills kids

Susie: we can all agree ricky is too much babie to harm anyone

Meta: true

Magolor: GUYS

Magolor: GUYS WHERE DID KIRBY AND MARX GO?

Meta: UH

Escargoon: MARX?? ? MARX DON’T KILL KIRBY I HATE HIM BUT DONT

Marx: magolor please keep your mouth SHUT.

Ricky: are we going to have a problem. 

Marx: n

Marx: no

Marx: no i will not make a problem ricky im sorry

Magolor: kirby and ricky are the only people who know how to put marx in his place

Marx: OKAY LOOK KIRBY IS SLEEPING IM NOT DOING ANYTHING

Magolor: how do you know he’s sleeping

Marx:

Marx: no commen t 

Kirby: (｡v_v｡) zzz

Meta: if any of you disturb him i’ll fucking kill you. 

Asari: META KNIGHT ONLY SWEARS WHEN KIRBY IS SLEEPING I KNEW IT.

Dedede: ive never heard meta swear a day in my life this is surreal 

CS: Dedede, isn't Meta Knight one of your knights?

Dedede: he is but ever since he pushed my car with me and escargoon in it down a hill ive stopped trusted him. 

Susie: hey wasn’t that after meta nearly beat the shit out of kirby

Meta: dedede asked me to 

Meta: and i went as gentle as i could

Daroach: what the hell is happening in dream land man

Ricky: its. quite the place. 

Dedede: and im it’s king.

Daroach:

Daroach: dedede you have placed a curse on yourself

Dedede: what

Asari: fuck

Asari: THE PATRIARCHY.

Dedede: U HI U H UUH UH WHAT DOY OU MEAN BY FUCK

Asari: whatever the fuck you think it’ll be

Dedede: bro your gonna fuck me???

Escargoon: KSJDSJBVNCJ

Asari: i

Asari: actually maybe 

Daroach: ANNA OOOOO

Ricky: im so happy tiff and tuff are asleep they don’t deserve to see this

Marx: wait does this mean we can swear properly now?

Ricky: i suppose!

Dedede: I LIKE CASH AND MY HAIR TO MY ASS DO THE THE DASH CAN YOU MAKE IT GO FAST FUCK THE FAME ALL I WANT IS THEM BANDS  
CS: okay but bop

Meta: HUhH?  
CS: How do I delete messages

Magolor: cs type normally you are not impressing anyone. 

Susie: yeah man the kids are asleep they won’t bully you

CS: im begging yall don’t tell nightmare i talk like this.


	2. marx smokes weed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ft spanish arguments

12:36

Ricky: I WOKE UP LLATE?KS?  
Meta: i didn’t want to wake you  
Kirby: (｀▽´) poyoooo!!!  
Dedede: WHY IS ESCARGOON STILL ASLEEP??/  
Tuff: bro tiff is literally dead asleep JSJAKJS  
Tuff: guys should i pour water on her and pretend to be asleep  
Susie: let her sleep tuff  
Ricky: let them sleep in it’s what they deserve  
Dedede: fine  
CS: I thought everybody got up at 6?  
Daroach: dude  
Daroach: i can’t even move at 6 how the hell do you wake UP  
CS: Effort.   
Daroach: hmm  
Magolor: where’s marx? i woke up and he wasn’t in bed?  
Daroach: yall sleep togheter?   
Magolor: suddenly i don’t know who marx is.   
Dedede: pause  
Dedede: yall dating?   
Magolor: im not saying anything without marx’s confirmation  
Tuff: tiff owes me 50 now  
Magolor: YALL ARE LIKE 2 HOW DO YALL HAVE MONEY TO BET ON RELATIONSHIPS  
Tuff: we stole it  
Magolor:  
Magolor: ah.   
Asari: it’s so early why the hell are yall awake  
Dedede: honey its 12:30…   
Asari: oh  
Asari: forreal?   
Escargoon: ITS 12:30///?!?/1?1??!?1//1///!?/!  
Escargoon: WHAT RTEHE YFUCJ PGCJ YDG  
Escargoon: IM SORRY  
Dedede: ricky told me to spare you  
Escargoon: ricky i owe you my life  
Escargoon: i am in your DEBT  
Ricky: its okay i woke up like 10 minutes ago!!!  
Escargoon: i will buy you 100 books for your library.   
Dedede: dude do you even have money  
Escargoon: i will STEAL 100 books for your library.   
Ricky: its okay you do not have to do that!!!  
Asari: unless its a rich corporation.   
Asari: take dat shit.   
Dedede: fuck capitalism   
Susie: something we can all agree on   
Marx: hey i just woke the fuck up   
Marx: mago why am i here  
Magolor: what are you talking about  
Magolor: why are YOU there???  
Marx: what do you mean dude why am i here??/  
Magolor: i woke up and you were gone bro  
CS: I don’t know the full situation, but maybe you slept walked?  
Marx: oh FUCK  
Daroach: did you kill someone in your sleep   
Asari: wait  
Asari: didn’t you rip a fat bon-  
Ricky:  
Meta:  
Escargoon:  
Dedede:  
Magolor:  
Asari:  
Marx:  
Susie:  
Daroach:  
Tiff:  
Tuff:  
Ricky: oh my god.   
Marx: asari.   
Marx: i   
Marx: am going to come to your home.  
Marx: and RIP you into fucking atoms.   
Tuff: marx smokes weed  
Dedede: LFMRJEUND SBuzjzn $$$ 7:!:  
gn :  
hamb)8  
Daroach: LMFAOFOODROODODOGTKNFIDR SHRNF D BRUHHHHD DHFNF. F   
Escargoon: I FEEL LIKE ALL MY QUEDTIONS HAVE VEEN AWNSERED…  
Magolor: @asari marx left 5 minutes ago please run oh god he broke the door he doesn’t have hands oh mygod  
Meta: HE DOESN'T HAVE HANDS…   
Susie: this is like watching a murder   
Asari: i’m gonna shave and run to a foreign galaxy goodbye  
Asari: AYE IS THAT HIM??????????  
Daroach: YOOOO IS THAT TBE THUMPING  
Dedede: THE FLOOR IS VIBRATING LIKE A HITACHI WAND ASARI YOU REALLY FUCKED UP.  
Tuff: ID ROAST DDD FOR KNOWING WHAT A HITACHI WAND IS BUT SERIOUSLY ASARI ACTUALLY RUN  
Magolor: asari im so fucking sorry this is the only time i’ll swear but i’m so fucking sorry   
Asari: hes. outside my door.  
Asari: i’m hyperventilating   
Daroach: ASARI YOU WERE THE BEST BROTHER OF ALL TIME I LVOE YOU  
Asari: everyone i want you to know i love you i wish i was joking when i’m saying i really think this is it.  
Asari: HE OPENED THE DOOR WITHOUT HANDS THE POWER OF MARIJUA  
Asari: EO SN ! i0 €€h

[Asari has been disconnected]

Marx: ahem  
Marx: do any of you happen to know how to wash blood stains?  
CS: Is it bad to say i’m actually terrified.  
Daroach: oh…. my fuckig god.  
Daroach: MARX WHAT THE FUCK   
Daroach: HOW DID YOU DO THIS I  
Marx: snitches get stitches baby  
Tuff: WHAT HAPPENED  
Susie: do we need emergency services   
Daroach: HMMMM I DONT ONOW HEY @marx DO YEW THINK HIS WILL NEED YCKUNG EMERGENCY SERVICES   
Marx: naw he good   
Daroach: MARX  
Daroach: TGERE IS BLOOD  
Daroach: DRIPPING OUT OF HIS HEAD. AND. GIS MOUTH  
Ricky: okay i need back up   
Ricky: i’m bringing in some one y’all

[Ricky added Dark Meta Knight]

Meta: i…   
Ricky: HONEY IM SO SORRY I DONT LNOW WHO ELSE MIGHT BE ABLE TO HANDLE MARXS GOBLIN ENERGY FOR PROLONGED PERIODS  
Dark Meta Knight: If it ISN'T THE BIGGEST FUCKER ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE MIRROR!   
Meta: THEY’RE MAY BE FUCKING KIDS HERE BUT I AM NOT HESITATING TO CUSS YOU THE FUCK OUT.   
Tiff: i’m taking a nap what the hell is happening   
Daroach: BABE MARX FIUCKING KILLED ASARI  
Meta: BABE?   
Daroach: OH FCUKC   
Dark Meta Knight: YEAH WE DATING WHAT ABOUT IT YOU META SHITHEAD  
Meta: SORRY I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH YOUR TASTE IN ACTUAL GARBAGE DAROACH  
Ricky: oh god please calm yourselves   
Magolor: MARX ASARI SITUATION ON HOLD WHAT IS HAPPENING  
Susie: ricky has started a war  
Daroach: META IM SORRY I DIDNT KNOW YALL HAD BEEF  
Meta: GARBAGE. ¡¡¡¡BASURA!!!!  
Dark Meta Knight: ¿RECUERDA CUANDO ME LLEGO A LA MIERDA? Me alegraré de nuevo!!!!!!!!!  
Kirby: (☉_☉)

[Ricky placed Meta and Dark Meta Knight into private chat]

Ricky: i am so sorry for that!!!!!!!!  
CS: May I ask- excuse my language- what the actual fuck just happened?


	3. bandana and shadows time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> mods are crowned and escargoon attempts to kill dedede

3:25 pm

CS: My question still stands  
Ricky: sorry i just-   
Dedede: they’ve been in priv chat for like 3 hours should we bring them back  
Daroach: no  
Daroach: meta has a death wish for me  
Ricky: dont worry meta is not mad at you he just!!  
Ricky: has a complicated relationship with dkm !!  
Escargoon: ‘complicated’  
Kirby: (。･∀･)ﾉ poyooooo  
Ricky: you want to add someone?   
Kirby: (｀▽´) poyo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Susie: add them i need to see more beef  
Kirby:（◎0◎）

[Ricky added Bandana Dee and Shadow Kirby]

Kirby: (｀▽´)ﾉ poyo !!   
Shadow Kirby: poyo? ●︿●  
Bandana Dee: whats this??  
Ricky: i said this was originally for easy communication but its just a chat at this point  
Shadow Kirby: poyoooooooo (`A´)   
Bandana Dee: he said wheres dark meta knight  
Ricky: okay i’ll add them back!!!  
Daroach: ohhh god

[Ricky re-added Meta and Dark Meta Knight]

Ricky: have you two worked out that argument?   
Dark Meta Knight: NO   
Meta: he doesn’t even know how to turn caps like a fuckin idiot  
Meta: he was yelling at me the whole time  
Dark Meta Knight: I ASKED YOU HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPS AND YOU TOLD ME TO FUCK OFF  
Meta: SEE HE’S YELLING AT ME  
Ricky: can you two get along for like 5 seconds god sakes  
Meta: no  
Dark Meta Knight: NO   
Susie: such duality   
Shadow Kirby: poyo!!!! ┗(｀・ω・´)┛  
Dark Meta Knight: THERES MY CHILD  
Dark Meta Knight: RICKY THANK YOU FOR ADDING HIM  
Ricky: kirby asked me to!  
Dark Meta Knight: @meta I RESPECT YOUR KID MORE THAN YOU   
Meta: fuck OFF  
Ricky: i am so close to putting you two back into priv chat  
Dark Meta Knight: SORRY  
Meta: sorry  
Dedede: is it safe to come back now  
Dedede: and what happened to asari  
Daroach: he’s dead as roadkill  
Daroach: actually he’s alive but looks like roadkill  
Marx: omg my power !!!  
Escargoon: we can all mutually agree that we’re terrified of marx  
Tuff: yeah wow  
Tuff: kirby told me you were ugly as a mofo not a killer   
Marx: HE WHAT  
Kirby: (☉_☉)  
Tiff: TUFF SNITCHED  
Marx: kirby you are a rotten little boy  
Marx: ROTTEN  
Tiff: sorry only dedede can cuss out kirby  
Tiff: this means we have to fight  
Marx: get lost in the dam sauce   
Marx: i will legally be allowed to cuss out kirby whenever i want  
Dedede: tiff i may despise you but please do not fight marx  
Tiff: ugh okay  
CS: @dedede Would you like a monster free of charge to fight Marx?  
Dedede: thats animal cruelty   
CS: Actually yeah.  
Ricky: hmmmmmmmmmm my back hurts  
Daroach: why   
Ricky: cause im always carrying this stupid chat  
Dedede: HFSJJKC  
Ricky: we need a mod i cannot handle you all!!!  
Ricky: hmmmmmm  
Ricky: marx and CS are immediately out of the question!!!!  
Marx: wow ok  
CS: What did I do?  
Ricky: work for a evil corporation   
CS: Oh okay.  
Ricky: i feel like Dedede would try to kick kirby and tiff   
Dedede: okay reasonable  
Ricky: marx would probably threaten or steal magolor's phone and go ham   
Ricky: asari is dead and has a destroyed phone, and daroach is far too stressed so   
Daroach: okay but thank you this chat seems hard to handle  
Ricky: tiff, tuff, kirby, and shadow kirby are literally children   
Ricky: and i know tiff would kick dedede and escargoon  
Tiff: this is slander  
Tuff: its true doe  
Kirby: ●︿●  
Shadow Kirby: ●︿●  
Ricky: @meta @darkmetaknight you two can't…. even control yourselves  
Dark Meta Knight: HMMMM  
Meta: hmmmm  
Ricky: so the last 3 are susie, bandana dee, and escargoon!  
Ricky: hmmmmmm  
Escargoon: why me   
Ricky: you may be a goblin sometimes but you are a good snail!!!!  
Escargoon: im tearing up omg   
Susie: im carrying a corporation i can’t   
Ricky: uh oh  
Ricky: OKAY  
Ricky: SO

[Ricky has modded Escargoon and Bandana Dee]

[Escargoon has kicked Dedede]

Tiff: LMFAOOOOOVFHJSDJKDJAKJSDJKKL

 

[Ricky re-added Dedede]

Ricky: escargoon please  
Dedede: YOUR OWN KING???? ?   
Escargoon: my hand slipped im sorry sire :((((

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry if this seems dumb im having the time of my life with this


	4. does dedede have man tittes??????

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> clowns and roaches

12:26 am

Susie: okay i apologize for how late it is but @dedede i have a important question for you  
Dedede: okay spill  
Susie: please dont think im bullying you or like im trying to be weird this has just been on my mind since i met so   
Susie: okay so  
Susie: do you by any chance have  
Dedede: ?  
Susie: man titties?  
Dedede: HUHHHHH HGHSHJD?  
Susie: PLEASE I CAN’T THIS QUESTION HASN’T LEFT ME ALONE FOREVER  
Escargoon: well??/ ur just gonna leave her hanging dedede???   
Dedede: I DONT KNOW!!!”!”!”!??  
Dedede: ESCARGOON DO I HAVE MAN TITS??]  
Escargoon: i dont know you wear a shirt  
Susie: i mean I DONT THINK you have man tittes  
Bandana Dee: he doesn’t  
Escargoon:  
Escargoon: how  
Escargoon: would you know  
Bandana Dee: i walked into the royal bathroom and he was taking a bath and the last thing i saw was him leaning over to grab his hammer and throw it at me.   
Bandana Dee: flat chested   
Susie: we….  
Dedede: thank you bandana dee, very cool!!!  
Escargoon: i mean you cant be mad at susie for asking your always covering up ur titties  
Dedede: SEE “flat chested”  
Daroach: we talking about titties?  
Susie: hell yeah  
Daroach: i think i have tits   
Dark Meta Knight: YOU DON’T  
Dedede: and how would you know that?  
Dark Meta Knight: CAUSE WE FUCKING  
Escargoon: OH  
Dedede: GYDVSIDSJKJNVKCDLKCSKLCD  
Escargoon: M Y GOD  
Dedede: GET HIS ASS  
Susie: daroach exposed…. nun of us got tits…  
Daroach: SAY LESS  
Daroach: ok but i miss my bro…  
Dedede: can we get a proper titty gang f for him   
Daroach: f  
Susie: f   
Escargoon: f  
Dark Meta Knight: f   
Dedede: f  
Susie: do you want me to get him a new phone if he ever recovers?  
Daroach: yes please he’s actually kinda getting better so i want him to bully marx the second he’s actually okay  
Marx: did someone call me  
Daroach: speak of the devil  
Susie: marx quick question are you a clown  
Marx: no im a jester  
Dedede: thats like the exact same thing   
Marx: its not jesters are   
Marx: jesters are  
Marx: wait  
Dedede: SEE?”? bro theyre basically related  
Daroach: marx be like *clown noises*  
Marx: this is why i call myself a jester because yall would probably send me clown shoes for every holiday  
Susie: yeah cause we want you to feel at home  
Marx: home?  
Susie: a circus tent  
Marx: FIRST OF ALL I-  
Dedede: *clown noises*  
Susie: *clown noises*  
Daroach: *clown noises*  
Marx: IM CALLIGN MAGOLOR  
Susie: what? so he can blast the circus theme in your ear without being beaten to a pulp?  
Daroach: WE KNOW HOW YOU WORK, MARX.  
Marx: SHUT IT RAT OR ILL GET THE RAID  
Daroach: WHY WOULD YOU GET RAID???  
Marx: DA‘ROACH’  
Daroach: THATS JUST MY NAME  
Marx: YOU WERE NAMED THE ROACH  
Susie: hol y shit hes right  
Dedede: *clown noises and raid bottle shaking*  
Daroach: HOW DID THIS GET FROM MAN TITS TO FUCKING TO CLOWNS TO ROACHES   
Susie: gods prophecy  
Susie: he’s trying to tell us something…  
Dedede: what is he saying…?  
Susie: we need to add someone.  
Dedede: @escargoon wake the fuck up  
Escargoon: what  
Susie: add adeleine and ribbon  
Escargoon: who??  
Escargoon: wait isint that dmk and daroach’s kid  
Daroach: YES  
Dark Meta Knight: UGH

[Escargoon added Adeleine and Ribbon to the chat]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can escargoon adding the girlies and the chapter just ending be considered a cliffhanger


	5. schleepy babies and swearing

Daroach: all of my children are here omg…. im tearing up  
Adeleine: where am i  
Ribbon: is this a chat where we all cuss eachother out and meme or something  
Susie: oop-  
Dark Meta Knight: YEAH BASICALLY  
Marx: omg more kids to bully  
Daroach: MARX ILL GET THE RAID YOU ROACH  
Marx: YOUR THE ROACH  
Daroach: THEN ILL CALL THE AUHORITIES  
Marx: YOUR LITERALLY A THIEF  
Daroach: oh yeah  
Daroach: my bad  
Marx: dumbass  
Ribbon: are we allowed to swear  
Dedede: ur like 1 foot tall how to you have the room in your body to swear  
Dark Meta Knight: YEAH YOU GUYS CAN SWEAR  
Daroach: DARK META WHAT  
Daroach: NO YOU CAN’T SWEAR  
Daroach: IT APPLIES TO ALL THE KIDS  
Adeleine: fuck  
Daroach: A  
Daroach: DELEINE  
Daroach: WHAT  
Daroach: DID I  
Daroach: JUST SAY?  
Adeleine: dark dad said we could swear stop taking away my rights to swear  
Daroach: YOU ARE LIKE 7 ADELEINE  
Ribbon: im not  
Daroach: YOU ARE ONE FOOT TALL  
D Kirby: bitch!!! (`A´)  
Dedede: oh shit  
Susie: oh shit  
Escargoon: oh shit  
Marx: oh shit  
Dark Meta Knight: OH SHIT  
Adeleine: oh shit  
Ribbon: oh shit  
Daroach: YOU ARE ALL LITTLE GREMLINS. GOBLINS  
Ribbon: and what about it  
Daroach: i cannot handle this RIBBON YOU NEVER ACTED LIKE THIS   
Daroach: DID SOMEONE TEACH YOU HOW TO SWEAR???!?!?  
Ribbon: no bro…. we had a awakening….   
Adeleine: we did…. third eye open bro…  
Daroach: @Dark Meta Knight you handle this ive had ENOUGH  
Escargoon: i thought you were persistent  
Daroach: do you know how tired i am   
Adeleine: hey i just looked back through the chat why were yall talking about tits  
Daroach:  
Dedede: because its what adults do we talk about tits all day bro  
Daroach: DEDEDE SAY LESS  
Kirby: POYO!!! (。･∀･)ﾉ   
Adeleine: omg kirby is here??????  
Adeleine: HELLO KIRBY!!!!  
Ribbon: hello kirby!!!!!!!  
Escargoon: dedede stole my phone to try and kick him but it turns out ricky disabled my kicking feature   
Dedede: dam im kinda craving some escargot rn ngl……  
Marx: wait do you think we can actually make escargoon into an actual giant escargot  
Escargoon: MARX CAN YOU BE QUIET?  
Marx: naw…. kinda hungry bro…..  
Susie: please don't harass the local snail  
Dedede: no  
Susie: please don’t cook him  
Dedede: ok fine  
Marx: i wonder what fried penguin tastes like  
Dedede: i wonder what fried clown tastes like  
Susie: yall are so AGGRESSIVE  
Marx: sorry luv it’s our job!!!   
Dedede: xoxoxo !!!  
Daroach: okay i put the kids to bed now i can be ham  
Adeleine: we still have our phones  
Daroach: go to bed i don’t want to take them away  
Adeleine: ok gn love you dads also ribbon and shadow kirby sat they loves you guys and gn  
Daroach: love you too  
Dark Meta Knight: LOVE YOU TOO  
Susie: AWWWWWWWWWW  
Marx: THIS IS CUTE AS FUCK BRO…  
Escargoon: AWWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEE  
Dedede: OMGGGG AWWWWWW  
Dark Meta Knight: ALL OF YOU SAY LESS  
Daroach: ill give up everything for these dam kids man  
Susie: dont you mean YOUR KIDS  
Escargoon: bro they literally call yall dad  
Escargoon: im being deadass i thought you guys adopted them  
Daroach: we did   
Dark Meta Knight: NOT LEGALLY OF COURSE BUT Y’KNOW  
Dedede: im going to bed that fucking cuteness drained 89% of my energy  
Escargoon: yeah me too holy shit  
Susie: you guys sleep together   
Escargoon: ZZZ...ZZZ  
Dedede: ZZZ.Z.Z.Z.ZZZZ..  
Susie: okay yeah im tired too i need to work   
Marx: kin gn   
Daroach: goonight yawl   
Dark Meta Knight: GOODNIGHT GOBLINS  
Marx: i can hear the raid shaking  
Daroach: GOODNIGHT, MARX.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I. HAD NO IDEA PEOPLE ACTUALLY LIKED THIS SO I TRIED TO MAKE THIS EXTRA CUTE


	6. the munchies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> marx be like: spare pizza 😔🤲spare pizza maam 😔🤲

3:26 am  
Marx: jhhsjj…  
Marx: ...bizza…..  
Marx: pizza…..  
CS: What?  
Marx: can you orderr me… bizza  
CS: no  
Marx: pleaeg.. . .  
Meta: why do you want pizza it’s almost 3:30  
Marx: I JUSG WANT PIZZA PLEASE  
CS: Then order it?  
Marx: i dont have money.. . :(((((  
Meta: @Escargoon can you get him pizza  
Meta: @Escargoon dont leave us on read  
Escargoon: its 3 am what do yall WANT  
Meta: pizza  
Escargoon: then come to the castle the waddle dees are still awake  
Marx: no  
Escargoon: why tho  
Marx: i dont wanna walk to… castle  
Escargoon: OHHHH  
Escargoon: you have the munchies dont you  
Marx: UHHH H  
Marx: NO  
Meta: okay that makes sense  
CS: Who the hell lives in Dreamland and deals weed?  
Marx:  
Meta: hey marx, what are those plants in your garden  
Marx: no comment sorry  
Escargoon: marx get up or no pizza  
Marx: FINE  
Marx: wait how do i get to the castle  
Escargoon: are you serious  
Meta: marx just wait till morning  
Meta: maybe magolor can make some for you  
Marx: last time either of us cooked we nearly set the house on fire  
CS: We have a monster that can cook, if you’d like.  
Meta: no. you do not have a monster that can cook.  
CS: Oh, okay.  
Marx: please…. im starving… .  
Escargoon: then starve  
Marx: ESCARGOON PLEAGE  
Escargoon: FINE ILL ASK THE WADDLE DEES DO DELIVER IT TO YOU LAZY ASS  
Marx: i owe you my life……………  
Meta: this is the nicest ive ever seen escargoon been  
Escargoon: be quiet orb  
CS: Loving the dynamic here.  
Escargoon: what toppings do you want  
Marx: bebberoni  
Escargoon: bandana dee said cheese is better  
Marx: tell him to suck my ass  
Escargoon: they said love you too  
Meta: aw  
Escargoon: aight ya shit is in the oven  
Marx: yeg.. .. hell fucking yeahhh h  
Escargoon: oh fuck i think dedede woke up  
Dedede: it’s 3 am why the fuck do i smell pizza  
Escargoon: go back to bed it’s late  
CS: Yeah it’s late.  
Dedede: ESCARGOON ARE YOU MAKING PIZZA WITHOUT ME  
Marx: HES NOT  
Marx: DEDEDE HES NOT DOING ANYTHING GO TO BED  
Meta: escargoon just chilling  
Dedede: oh okay  
Dedede: gn  
Marx: oh amen bruh  
Escargoon: godam  
Escargoon: the pizza is almost ready  
Dedede: UM.  
Escargoon: OH FUCK  
Meta: aw shit  
Marx: DEDEDE  
CS: Yikes.  
Dedede: MARX ARE YOU PAYING FOR THIS PIZZA???????  
Marx: HEY HEY HEY IM BROKE  
Dedede: THATS A YOU PROBLEM  
Escargoon: SIRE HE’S HIGH AND HAS THE MUNCHIES PLEASE JUST LET THE CLOWN EAT  
Dedede: WHAT WOULD I GAIN FROM THAT  
Escargoon: A NON GRUMPY MARX IN THE MORNING  
Escargoon: YOU KNOW WHAT HE DOES HE RAIDS THE CASTLE PANTRY AT 8AM BECAUSE HE HAD NO FOOD FOR HIS MUNCHIES  
Dedede: HMMMMM…  
Dedede: OKAY FINE  
Dedede: BUT ONLY THIS ONE TIME  
Marx: THANK YOU GOD  
Escargoon: whew.  
Escargoon: OKAY THEY’RE BRINGING IT TO YALLS HOUSE  
Meta: finally  
Meta: as we wait, @CS how deep in debt is dedede in?  
Escargoon: OOP  
CS: Uhhhh, about 9mil  
Meta: WHJSDACKMCDSK  
Marx: oh shit…… thats like 8 pizza combos dude  
Escargoon: wow  
Escargoon: hes not paying that shit doe  
CS: Of course he isn’t.  
Marx: OH FUCK THEYRE HERE  
Marx: YAYYAYAYAYYAYAYYAYAYAYYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYYYAYYAYAY  
Escargoon: okay are you happy now  
Marx: YES  
Meta: okay im going to bed now  
Meta: enjoy your pizza  
Escargoon: fuck gn  
Marx: THANK YOU ESCARGOON GOODNIGHT GUYS  
CS: Goodnight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry for not updating in a few days my ass is tired as fuck
> 
> also marx smokes weed its canon because he told me 😌


	7. the girls are fighting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> googoo gaga headass

[9:29 am]

Magolor: why on earth is there pizza crust EVERYWHERE  
Magolor: WHY IS THERE SO MANY BONGS  
Escargoon: omg what  
Magolor: i just woke up  
Magolor: and marx is laying on a pizza box piled on top of bongs and pizza crusts   
Magolor: he doesn’t even have a job how the fuck did he order pizza  
Escargoon: damnnnnnn idk  
Meta: wow that's really weird  
CS: How strange.  
Tiff: is he like  
Tiff: dead???  
Magolor: i dont know but im too scared to check  
Magolor: he must've gotten lit as hell last night godam.  
Escargoon: dats crazy lol  
Escargoon: otherwise how are yall doing?  
Dedede: i had a dream where the waddle dees and escargoon were cooking pizza at like 3 am  
Dedede: meta and marx told me they wern’t actually doing anything it was weird lmao  
Escargoon: R  
Escargoon: REALLY? DATS CRAZY LOL  
Meta: dedede you should stop drinking caffeine before bed it makes you have weird hyper-realistic dreams  
Dedede: no  
Tiff: woah  
Tiff: me and tuff had a dream about smelling pizza too  
Escargoon: WACK  
Escargoon: MAN MAYBE ITS A COINCIDENCE   
Daroach: its so early why the hell are you guys up  
Magolor: marx hotboxed the room so i had to wake up  
CS: I’m not allowed to sleep  
Meta: i don’t sleep  
Dedede: i went to bed at 7pm   
Tiff: i actually have a healthy sleeping schedule compared to these clowns  
Dark Meta Knight: YALL SLEEP?? PUSSIES  
Meta: suck my ass bitch  
Dark Meta Knight: EAT A DICK  
Dedede: THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGGG  
Magolor: @Ricky THEYRE STARTING AGAIN  
Ricky: i modded escargoon for a reason  
Ricky: let me sleep  
Escargoon: WHAT  
Escargoon: OKAY GUYS CALM DOWN  
Meta: im gonna come to that nasty ass mirror of yours and im gonna shatter that shit  
Dark Meta Knight: TRY IT BITCH ILL SET ALL YOUR SPARE MASKS AND THE HALBERD ON FIRE  
Escargoon: I DONT KNOW HOW TO ADD THEM TO PRIV CHAT  
Escargoon: @Ricky HELP  
Ricky: snzzz.. ..zzz.z..zzz  
Meta: LET HIM SLEEP WE NEED A BRAWL  
CS: Oh boy.  
Tiff: id intervene but im tryna see sum  
Magolor: GUYS PLEASEEE  
Dark Meta Knight: IM SO SICK OF YOU BLUE ASS BITCH  
Meta: STAY MAD THAT I ACTUALLY HAVE COLOR STOOPID  
Dark Meta Knight: SUCK PENID BITCH  
Daroach: world peace is broken oh god  
Meta: GOOGOO GAGA HEADASS BITCH  
Dark Meta Knight: IM GONNA BEAT THE FUCK OUTTA YOU  
Dark Meta Knight: STUBBY ARM BITCH  
Meta: WE HAVE THE EXACT SAME ARMS  
Escargoon: oh god  
Escargoon: @Ricky PLEASE RICKY

[Ricky placed Meta and Dark Meta Knight into private chat]

Ricky: do i have to do ALL the work around here

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry for hardly posting the chatfic doc has is literally 35 pages so it takes like a year to scroll down it

**Author's Note:**

> this has some oc x canon (meta knight x ricky + galacta knight x cari) so like... dip if you don't like dat shit. fun fact daroach and asari are basically brothers so thats their relationship.
> 
> meta and ricky are kirby's adoptive dads, and daroach and Dark MK are ribbon, adeleine, and shadow kirby's adoptive dads


End file.
